With help from Dr. Alan Fruzetti’s book entitled, “The High Conflict Couple”, and experience teaching hundreds of people skills to manage negative emotions and end long-standing patterns in relationships, Melinda Carlisle, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an intensively trained DBT Therapist will put partners to work on themselves in fun, interactive, experiential practice using the same skills found in standard Dialectical Behavior Therapy Programs. At the end of the six month program partners will be better able to manage their own emotions so they can listen and communicate in ways that lead to understanding, validation, and negotiation – all essential components of healthy intimacy.    

               
   
                    The Program: What Is It?

The skills training content is derived from The DBT Skills material created by researcher Dr. Marsha M. Linehan, and the extensive work of Dr. Alan Fruzetti in the area of validation. The class meets weekly for 1.5 hours over a period of six months. There are 4 modules of education, practice and homework covering the following areas:

Mindfulness

Interpersonal Effectiveness

Distress Tolerance

And Emotion regulation

Class Format:

Each individual will attend a class that is different from their partner. We encourage you to focus on your own growth and skill development in a co-ed setting but without the distraction of the dynamics that can occur between partners. Partners then complete both individual and joint homework and practice exercises building the individual competency that leads to shared understanding, closeness and validation.

We are considering several possible time slots and days and request that EACH PERSON select their 1st and 2nd choices. We will do our best to place you in your first choice slot. Individual partners may choose from the following:

Wednesday - 4-5:30pm
Thursday - 9-10:30am
Thursday - 4:30-6pm
Friday - 9-10:30am

No. High Conflict Couples is an interpersonal skill building class that teaches participants tools and techniques for managing the emotions that reduce their effectiveness in the relationship with their partner. By contrast, counseling or therapy treats a variety of mental health issues including but not limited to: depression, anxiety, and destructive behavior patterns. Unlike our skills training class format, in couples counseling couples often process their feelings together and examine current and past difficulties in their relationship including issues of trust and betrayal. This class teaches you how to be mindful of your emotions, how to regulate them and communicate in a way that is healthy and builds trust and intimacy. However, it is not a substitute for individual or couples counseling.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy is a comprehensive program that involves several components including individual DBT Psychotherapy and DBT Skills Training, along with in-between session telephone coaching. It is a type of therapy designed for people with severe emotional dysregulation and is conducted by intensively trained DBT Therapists. Our High Conflict Couples class is different because it includes only the Skills Training Content and the material is modified and adapted for couples. This course is a powerful adjunct to any individual counseling or couples counseling, but it is not a suitable stand alone treatment for any particular disorder.

On the contrary, taking this class indicates that you are serious about improving the dynamics in all your relationships. If either partner in a couple believes they have serious anxiety or depression or other mental health symptoms that might interfere with being able to participate in the class, or if you are not sure, please let us know by calling (408) 244-2988. Why can’t my partner and I be in the same class?

Over the years of teaching people the skills in the High Conflict Couple skills training, it has become clear that both partners need to become skillful individually in order to participate in a healthy “togetherness”. In particular, we find that when couples are together, they are much more likely to watch their partner than be mindful of themselves- and mindfulness of oneself is a cornerstone skill we teach in this class.

We offer couples joint homework assignment and practice exercises they will be required to do together, affording each partner the opportunity to facilitate growth for themselves and the other. We find that allowing couples to initiate healthy practice of skills and completion of homework together sometimes creates the first important goals couples have. A natural consequence is often mutual understanding and hope.

The six moth time table is the same as the formalized DBT skills Training class and affords ample opportunity for adequate practice, and allowing the material to sink in. It also allows time for the couple to work through ways to make the skills work for them in important personal situations.